University Chain Of Command
The Dean- Leaps tall buildings in a single bound. Is more powerful than a locomotive. Is faster than a speeding bullet. Walks on water. Gives policy to God.
The Department Head Leaps- short buildings in a single bound. Is more powerful than a switch engine. Is just as fast as a speeding bullet. Talks with God.
Professor Leaps- short buildings with a running start and favorable winds. Is almost as powerful as a switch engine. Is faster than a speeding BB. Walks on water in an indoor swimming pool. Talks with God if a special request is honored.
Associate Professor- Barely clears a quonset hut. Loses tug of war with a locomotive. Can fire a speeding bullet. Swims well. Is occasionally addressed by God.
Assistant Professor- Makes high marks on the walls when trying to leap tall buildings. Is run over by locomotives. Can sometimes handle a gun without inflicting self-injury. Treads water. Talks to animals.
Instructor- Climbs walls continually. Rides the rails. Plays Russian Roulette. Walks on thin ice. Prays a lot. Graduate Student Runs into buildings. Recognizes locomotives two out of three times. Is not issued ammunition. Can stay afloat with a life jacket. Talks to walls.
Undergraduate Student- Falls over doorstep when trying to enter buildings. Says “Look at the choo-choo”. Wets himself with a water pistol. Plays in mud puddles. Mumbles to himself.
Department Secretary- Lifts buildings and walks under them. Kicks locomotives off the tracks. Catches speeding bullets in her teeth and eats them. Freezes water with a single glance.
I just thought this was kind of amusing. By the way, I am not writing most of what I post… I wish I was. My source shall remain annonamous