Please do not feel obligated to read this, if you do not, believe you me, I will not hold it against you. Furthermore, I would even caution you to not read this. This blog will contain much questioning am I having of my faith. If you do not feel up to it, then please do not read. I am simply writing this to get off my chest, and I am not particularly looking for answers, however if God puts something on your heart, then I will definatly read it.
Currently, I am in two classes that probably should not be taken at the same time because it produces the results that I am rather confused about. The two classes are General Psych and a Theology class with Dr. Koo called God the Son. You will understand as you go on.
First, Psych. The prof is really into the psychology of religion. He talks alot about how sometimes psychology comes into the church. He pointed out the fact that not every feeling that you feel in the pews of he church comes from God. Sometimes they are manipulated feelings. That got me thinking…
Next, God the Son. On the first day of class, the prof said somthing that has stuck with me since. He said, “The Jesus that we read about in the Bible is probably an idealized Jesus.” I have been working through this since he said that. Then last week in class, we were discussing the different ideas about the virgin birth of Christ. For as long I can remember, I have had this nagging question in my mind: How did the Bible writters know about what happened when there were no witnesses. In this case, it is impossible to prove Mary’s virginity, now, or at the time. Mary’s virginity was based on her testamony alone. What if she lied. Yeah, the Bible says that she was a virgin at the time of Jesus birth, but the only one who can attest to it was her. Maybe she was raped by a Roman Soldier, but was ashamed to say it, so she claimed virign birth. Maybe she and Joseph did have sex, but because it was taboo, they denied it. The writers of the Bible, then took her at her word, because after all, it makes Jesus sound more divine. What if virgin meant something else to writter, such as simply young woman?
Having established the fact that the writters of the Bible are subject to error, what else about the Bible is not entirly accurate? Moses wrote the first five books of the Bibles, to which he was probably not a witness to much of. And he was the only witness to his encounters on the mountain with God. What if he embellished those to? How much of the Bible can be taken at face value, and how much is true?
Now in this all, my perception of the Bible “The Holy Word of God” is shattered, my ideas of experience with God in church have also been messed with, and I have never had much confidense in my own ability to hear from God, because sometimes we hear things that we think are from God, but it is our own subconscience.
Is there any substance at all to my faith? At last, I have one thing to rest on, my faith in Jesus Christ. Dr. Koo also said something else that helped alot. He said that if they found the body of Christ, and proved that Christ did not return from the dead, and everyone in the world abondoned Christianity, he would not. That is what I cling to. No matter what happens, I believe in Jesus Christ, that he was born, walked the earth, died on the cross, and rose on the third day. Now, he sits at the right hand of God ready to intercede on our behalf.
If you are reading this, thanks for sifting through my thoughts with me. I apprecite your putting up with my ramblings. Take Care, God Bless.