An Attempt at Humor

Its been a while since I’ve posted a humor post, but I’ll give it a try today.  I was in the mall thinking about things that I’m glad to have never been said to me, though probably have been said to someone else, here is what I came up with:

The dressing room is not also the restroom.

trying on jewelry is not like test driving a car, you don’t get to take it home.

The plants are not real, so no they are not edible

The Segues are for the security guards, not your enjoyment.

Benches in the kids play area are for parents of the kids playing, not your nap time.

Please do not eat your dinner on our couches. They are for the comfort of our guests shopping for a new TV.

That is not a functioning toilet

Keep your hands where I can see them

What would you add to this list?

 

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One thought on “An Attempt at Humor

  1. Those Segways are for security guards? Oops. And I’m not
    going to ask about the non-functioning toilet. I would add, “The
    FYE Music & Entertainment store doesn’t carry Eight Tracks,
    so don’t ask.” (I had to actually tell someone this before when I
    worked in a mall.)

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